35.5 weeks

Having a high risk pregnancy isn't ideal but this high risk one is not bad at all. As of Tuesday I still am not showing signs of preeclampsia & I hope I'm able to avoid it the whole pregnancy. I thought if you've had it your first pregnancy, you have it all of them. I'm pretty sure by now with Katie I was showing signs, having protein in my urine. This pregnancy, though with me WAY bigger than last time, seems to be a healthier one. I am still down 20 lbs which is nice. I'm hoping to stay at this loss. 4 weeks to go basically, as long as nothing happens. I had some huge scary bruises that I thought meant I had a blood clotting problem but nope, just "pissed off capillaries" as the doctor said. Bubba (still working on nickname but Bubba was Mike's nickname. Unfortunately mike's sister decided her son was going to be bubba too, though I don't know how long she called him that or if she still does. I think it's special as it was Mike's nickname but we'll see if we use it) was 5lbs 2oz on Tuesday(35wks). Projected to be 7lbs at 40 weeks. When I was told he would be 6-6.5 lbs at 40 weeks & had been told I wouldn't be allowed to go past 39 weeks I bought a lot of nb clothes from a wife here. Now he may end up not being in them long, if he's a quick grower unlike his sister. We'll see. I asked on Tuesday about delivery because I've been told from the beginning my cut off was 39 weeks, I wouldn't be allowed to go past 39. And a month ago my doctor laughed at my question of "will I make it to 40 wks?" & told me he just hoped I made it to 36-37 weeks. He's a good doctor but not very consistent with his opinions on my delivery. So, I asked Tuesday about being delivered at 39 weeks & this is what I got. "I don't know what I told you but what I MEANT was if you want a Csection(which I have non-stop been adamant I DO NOT WANT if possible) then it would be scheduled between 39 & 40 weeks. I would SUGGEST you not go past 40 weeks but ultimately it is your decision." Wait, what?! 40 weeks? I was LAUGHED at when I asked whether I'd even make it to 40 weeks, now I can choose (if nothing goes wrong) to go past my 40 wks, in hopes he comes himself. So, I freaked out, wondering what to do. I know I have a few weeks but a million thoughts went through my mind. My mom comes at 38 weeks, I picked that time thinking I was being delivered at 39 weeks. Luckily my friend is a voice of reason & had a smart solution, which basically is what the doctor probably would pick for me. Schedule my delivery for between 39 & 40 weeks, closer to 40 if possible. The point is to avoid an emergency csection, that a planned is safer & an easier recovery. I am scared to death of another Csection but what ever needs to happen to delivery a healthy baby is what I want. I just want him healthy! And it seems he'll be bigger than his sister, which yay! Every day past 37.5 weeks is good, it's farther than I got with Katie. I hope he comes on his own, I hope I get to experience a vaginal delivery, but we'll see. My mom thinks I'll go into labor myself, I don't. Anyways! Mr. decided to turn the other night, I think he's breach, which may throw a wrench in my delivery plan. Feeling a baby turn in your belly is the craziest, most uncomfortable, experience. I hope he turns back, if he did in fact breach himself. I tell my friend he turned & she tells me "when Bubs turned I packed my bag". That got my mind freaking out. Bag packed? What?! I have no bag packed & hadn't planned to yet. I realized how unready I was. So, thanks friend, for kicking my prepping into gear. I mean I had the swing together & washed, I have clothes washed, I have carseat open, the pack n play (his bed) put up in our room. Pacifiers were not washed, no bag packed, toys not washed, pump not washed/sanitized, but all that got done today. I plan to install his seat in the van just to get the proper angle for the base. I won't keep the seat in there I don't think but as long as the base is ready for quick install I will be happy. I plan to get a new boppy cover, because I don't think any I already have. I want a soft one for him & I found a minky one I want. Little things, trivial things, but important to me.

Well, I guess that's all. My long novel of recent events & thoughts. I can't believe our little boy will be here in about 4 weeks. 4 weeks! My mom will be here in 2.5 weeks! Tell me this isn't all happening. And wish for my sanity having my mom here so long. She might drive me crazy before the kid even gets here.