Flying by...

Time is flying by. Our son is now 5 months old, which is so absurd. He has changed so much the last month. He smiles a lot more & he talks a lot more. He's working on sitting up & he's rolled over a few times. He laughs a little bit I know a lot of babies his age have/are doing a lot more. Mike's coworker's son (born a day earlier) sits up like a champ and he laughs like a champ. He's also 4 lbs heavier than Alex. Alex weighs 12lbs 8oz now, not sure on height/length. He wears size 3m & 3-6m clothes. 3m pants are a little short on him but the waist of 3-6 are so big. He wears size 2 diapers. He eats ALL THE TIME! Night time feedings average every 3 hrs. Once in a great while I get a 5-6 hr space but unfortunately sometimes I only get a 1.5-2.5 hr spacing. Ugh, the short spaces are really hard. Alex is getting good at grabbing things & gets excited now. He flails his arms & legs, it's so funny. He's starting to put everything in his mouth. He grabs his feet now & rolls to his side. Who cares about fully rolling over, he's good. :) He still sleeps in our room in the pack n play but we'll probably move him to his room after the holidays. We waited til 6 months with Katie too.

Katie adores her brother & always wants to be in his face, except when I could really use her to entertain him. When I'm doing chores she tends to ignore him. Katie is FINALLY saying F's. Fish is Fish instead of Shish now. Now to work on other letters she has trouble with. She has SO much energy, all the time. She's usually pretty good but girl can be a terror too. She's wearing size 3T & 2 or 3T pants. 2T pants are too short on her but ey, still use them sometimes. :)

Well, that's about it. These use to be a lot longer when updating about Katie.

4 months!

How is my mini munchkin 4 months old now? And how is it that my first munchkin was conceived 4 years ago next month?! My goodness!! My life has so truly changed in the last 4 years and it's amazing.
Mini Munchkin stats: 11 lbs 8.5 oz. I'll find out how tall next week at his 4m well baby appt. He "talks" all the time, mostly to his sister. He ADORES her & she adores him. They're going to have an amazing bond, that's for sure. He likes to push with his heels on his back. He does not enjoy tummy time but he sits on my chest a lot. His head is still very wobbly, not sure if it's suppose to be or not. He's wearing 3m clothes mostly but some 3-6m ones too. Size 1 diapers still. I think he might be going through a growth spurt, he eats a lot & is fussy a lot. Fun times in the house.

Katie is almost done with her soccer classes. She likes them some times & hates them other times. I don't think she's a big group activity person. She does better one on one. She is so smart & has SO much attitude. She amazes me every day.

Welp, the kid is fussing so off I go. Have a blessed day!

Update: Alex was 11 lbs 9oz & 23.25 inches long at his 4m appt.

3.5 months

Mr. Alex is 3.5 months old & he's growing like a weed. He was 10lbs 11.5oz at 3 months which is a one pound heavier than 2 months. Right on track, my little man. Life is still really hectic. Mike is currently at Ft. Polk, LA for a month. He only left a few days & it's been extremely hard. I've been super emotional, like pregnant women emotional (no, not pregnant). Katie started soccer classes almost 3 weeks ago & she loves it. It's 8 weeks of Saturday classes & it ends on Halloween. I hope she starts being more independent at the classes because it's hard to help her & lug around mister chunk. I'm hoping each class she'll be more independent & confident, I think confidence is a big part of her wanting me/mike right there & us needing to repeat what the coach says. That's about it. The kids are growing like weeds, it's going by so super fast.
Alex has laughed a tiny bit twice. The start of a laugh, just enough to know it's a laugh & not just a sound. He's still in 0-3 clothes, except sleepers he's in 0-3 & 3m. Size 1 diapers & probably will be for a while. I think that's it. :)

PICTURES!

Our First Family Photo, June 17th

June 17th

June 19th

4th of July (4 wks old-Alex)

July 13th (1 month)

Aug 13th (2 months)

Aug 16th, Katie's 3 yr & Alex 2 month shoot

Life with 2(kids)

One of my worries while pregnant was how I was going to raise 2 kids. I was use to one kid & the thought of a second scared me. I mean I wanted a second kid but when it happened so fast & the realization that life was really going to change, I got really scared. Everyone kept telling me it's easy. It's super easy. Kid 3 is the hard one but the second, oh, you barely notice. LIES! Fucking Lies! It has been SO hard going from one to two for me. Katie was such an easy baby & Alex is so demanding. A demanding baby & a demanding toddler is far from easy. It is mentally & physically exhausting. Sleep, I miss sleep! It might also help if I didn't have a second bad Csection that is still healing. It's been 11 wks & I'm still having wound care visits and appts. My last one took 5-6 months to heal. Anyways, my kiddos!
I updated all the time on Katie & her growth and I'm trying to remember with Alex. He's growing so much faster than our baby girl did. He is, a normal growing baby. Which is bittersweet. I loved my petite princess & I loved her staying in clothes forever.
I don't know what info I have entered for Alex so here it goes!
Birth/June 13th: 6lbs 6 oz. 19.75 inches
Lowest weight: 5lbs 13oz
June 29th(16 days old)- 6lbs 4oz 20inch
July 10th(4wks)- 6lbs 15oz 21 inches
Aug 7- 8lbs 13oz
Aug 13(2 months)- 9lbs 4oz
Aug 18- 9lbs 11oz 21.75 inches
I moved him into size 1 diapers the last week of July & into 0-3 clothes the first week of August. Mr. Alex(as his sissy calls him) weighed at 2 months what his sister did at 4 months. Bittersweet! Nicknames: Katie calls him Mr. Alex or Baby brother. Mike calls him Alex or brother man. Even my father in law has a nickname for him, Big Al. I have no idea but ok. I have no nickname for baby boy. I've tried Bubba, Bubby, Monkey, Chunkers. Nothing sticks or fits. I guess I'll stick with Alex or Mr. Alex. I just wish I had a personal nickname for him & maybe one day I will. We'll see.
Alex smiles, oh such a big sweet smile. All you have to do is talk to him or say "are you going to smile?" I love seeing his smile! He's starting to really take off on talking. The last week it's grown so much, louder & longer periods. Oh, his sweet voice. We might be in trouble, he might be more talkative than his sister. :) Then again, he has a sister in his face all the time so he's bound to do things sooner & want to catch up/be right in there with her. Aww. My babies.

Quick update on Katie.
24 lbs & 34.5 inches (aug 18th). Aww, my baby girl is growing. I really need to update on her too.
My baby girl.... is no longer a baby girl. Ok, I know she hasn't been for a while but still. I feel like she's grown up so much since Alex came. She is so helpful, her vocabulary & understanding seem to have vastly improved, the kid has one hell of a memory! She's using the big potty now, I threw out the little one. I got her a step stool for downstairs & in the last week she carries that thing EVERYWHERE! She takes it to turn on lights, the reach things, feed her fishes. :) The other day she told me the blinds were opened wrong. I was feeding brother so I couldn't get up then. Next thing I know she had gotten her stool & turned the blinds the way she wanted. I was shocked! All so she could look in at me from outside, like a stalker. That made me realize A) wow, she's so smart B) she's so grown up. She has a big girl bed coming eventually. Oh & she's learned to peddle a bike, just yesterday. Well, she was taught before but yesterday she actually rode it herself. Yay, baby girl!

Family of 4!

On June 13th at 9:52 am we became a family of 4(5 including Hershey). Alexander Curtis Cosgrave was born weighing 6lbs 6oz & was 19.75 inches long. He looked just like his sister. Katie was so excited to meet him & hold him. Unfortunately my Csection was another bad one & it's going to take months of healing. Boo to that. At 1 week old he weighed 6lbs 1oz & at 2wks 2d he was 6lbs 4.5oz. He's probably at his birth weight now, at almost 3 weeks. Same as his sister was, with weight loss & gain in the first few weeks. It's been a crazy busy few weeks, not just from having 2 kids but because of all the appts we've had. Mostly mine but a few of Bubba's/Bubbie/still trying to figure out a good nickname. Alex has met his Grandma(my mom), his Nini & Appa(mike's parents), & his Auntie Tricia(my sister). Katie loves being a big sister! She loves to hold him & help with him. She's been a huge help, like I knew she would. Breastfeeding has been a journey but he's finally got the hang out of it.
I'm not sure what else to write. My mind doesn't work too well currently. I'll write more later I'm sure but just wanted to share the basic info. Our son is here & it's crazy surreal. :)

39 weeks

39 weeks! Days from having this baby & sadly I expected him to be here. I had my membranes swept on Monday & in all honesty I thought I would've been dilated to a 3-4 since 2 weeks ago I was at 2. She swept my membranes but said I was only a 1. WHAT! A 1? How do you un-dilated? I was also 50% efface which would excite me if I were actually somewhat dilated. Boo!!! The appt was so long, I wasn't called back until about a half hour past my appt time, then I sat in the room for a good 5 mins before the nurse even came back to just do my blood pressure. I figured since it was my last week the ultrasound wouldn't be a big deal because honestly, in my mind, it's pointless. Baby is active, there has been no complications, why do I need a BBP check? So I had to go get one of those after my appt and I was so frustrated by it all that I came home in a bad mood. My mom seems to think I need to kiss her ass & she threw a fit when I told her "I'm pissed & don't want to talk about it". I didn't want too, I was really upset & frustrated. I don't know how the bleep I undilated so what's the point in asking?! I moved my Csection from Thursday to Saturday because Mike has a 3 day but now I regret it. I would be less than 24 hrs away from having a son & it's now 3 days away. I've lost my mucus plug over the last almost 24 hours & it's really disgusting! Really really disgusting! No bloody show, just some blood on Monday from the sweeping. I think I've had very minor contractions/Braxton hicks but they lead nowhere. Waa Waa! Guess baby boy isn't coming on his own, even with the sweeping encouragement. I have my last appt tomorrow & I'm not sure if I should even ask for another sweep. I want too, I kind of want one last chance to have him but we'll see. I'm just kind of discouraged about this whole labor.

In any case, I will have a son within 3 days & we will be a family of 4 (5 with Hershey). I will be holding my son in within 72 hours! It will be the longest 3 days of my life but still, 3 days! Katie is so excited & keeps talking about going to the hospital & baby brother. Family of 4 by June 13th!

Also, a kind of fun thing is Katie was born on the 31st & Baby Boy will be born on the 13th! That's kind of really cool in my book!

38 Weeks!

Woo hoo! 38 weeks! I am finally ready for this kid to get out. It may just be today, June 4th, but I am miserable. Mr. has hit nerves & I doubled over in pain. The middle of my back hurts so badly, like a huge knot is in it. I can't wait til my husband is home to help with Katie. My mom arrived yesterday but honestly I feel like I'm having to step up even more. My kid associates visitors with being more entertained by people & not as much by herself. So, yup, I'm having to step up because my mom keeps telling Katie no when it comes to playing in the kitchen or outside. :(

I am having my membrane swept on Monday (June 8th) & will have a planned Csection either Thurs or Saturday, depending on what I chose, if the sweeping doesn't work. I sort of hope labor starts due to sweeping because I am scared to death of a Csection. I am also scared to go into labor because then I might end up with an emergency Csection instead of planning, better, one. Ahhhh! My baby girl will be a big sister officially next week & we will be a family of 4 (5 with dog). Yay!

Sorry for the short blog, I'm trying to type & entertain Katie. Little miss loves to brush her teeth want to brush her teeth. :)

37 weeks

Today I had my 37 wk appt and baby grew! He was est. 5lbs 2oz 2 weeks(1day) ago & today he was est to be 7lbs. Um, what?! Babies are suppose to grow 1/2 lb a week at this point, not a pound! So I'm a little freaked out by the quick growth & super hope they're totally off. They were with Katie at this point. I wish next week was a growth scan week too because I want to know if he really is growing really fast or if this tech was way off. I was also dilated to 2cm & the dang doctor was hoping for 3-4. Slow down dude, I'm only 37 weeks. Let's hold off on 4 cm til next week, then I'll be fine with labor soon. My mom comes in a week(June 3rd) & Mike goes to the field on Monday (June 1st). I am freaked out about him being in the field while I'm 38 weeks but I don't think I'll go in to labor so it really shouldn't matter. I'll just hope if I do start having contractions that I can get a hold of him quickly and they are without a broken water. I am not ready for Mr. to come, no way no how. I am scared of going in to labor myself(no induction or csection). I hope I do have him on my own but also very scared of doing so. Katie is ready for brother to come. She keeps telling me to go to the hospital to get him. :) She wants her grandma & nini to come and she knows nini comes after brother comes so she wants brother to come. This pregnancy is officially kicking my butt. I am tired all the darn time, I am stiff/sore/achy all the time. I am definitely moving slower and chores are getting harder. I have headaches A LOT & I've started to swell a little more. All in all though I am healthy, this pregnancy is going WAY better. By now with Katie I had been on hospital bed rest for a few days already. On Sunday I will officially be more pregnant than I've ever been. No gestational diabetes, no pre-eclampsia yet, no health issues affecting the pregnancy/baby. My blood pressure is good on these meds still. I am very relieved to be having a healthier pregnancy. Baby boy is still nameless & we are even farther from having a name. Oh joy! :) I can't wait to meet him but at the same time, he needs to stay in for another 10 days. I give him permission in 10 days. :) We'll see if he listens or not. :)

35.5 weeks

Having a high risk pregnancy isn't ideal but this high risk one is not bad at all. As of Tuesday I still am not showing signs of preeclampsia & I hope I'm able to avoid it the whole pregnancy. I thought if you've had it your first pregnancy, you have it all of them. I'm pretty sure by now with Katie I was showing signs, having protein in my urine. This pregnancy, though with me WAY bigger than last time, seems to be a healthier one. I am still down 20 lbs which is nice. I'm hoping to stay at this loss. 4 weeks to go basically, as long as nothing happens. I had some huge scary bruises that I thought meant I had a blood clotting problem but nope, just "pissed off capillaries" as the doctor said. Bubba (still working on nickname but Bubba was Mike's nickname. Unfortunately mike's sister decided her son was going to be bubba too, though I don't know how long she called him that or if she still does. I think it's special as it was Mike's nickname but we'll see if we use it) was 5lbs 2oz on Tuesday(35wks). Projected to be 7lbs at 40 weeks. When I was told he would be 6-6.5 lbs at 40 weeks & had been told I wouldn't be allowed to go past 39 weeks I bought a lot of nb clothes from a wife here. Now he may end up not being in them long, if he's a quick grower unlike his sister. We'll see. I asked on Tuesday about delivery because I've been told from the beginning my cut off was 39 weeks, I wouldn't be allowed to go past 39. And a month ago my doctor laughed at my question of "will I make it to 40 wks?" & told me he just hoped I made it to 36-37 weeks. He's a good doctor but not very consistent with his opinions on my delivery. So, I asked Tuesday about being delivered at 39 weeks & this is what I got. "I don't know what I told you but what I MEANT was if you want a Csection(which I have non-stop been adamant I DO NOT WANT if possible) then it would be scheduled between 39 & 40 weeks. I would SUGGEST you not go past 40 weeks but ultimately it is your decision." Wait, what?! 40 weeks? I was LAUGHED at when I asked whether I'd even make it to 40 weeks, now I can choose (if nothing goes wrong) to go past my 40 wks, in hopes he comes himself. So, I freaked out, wondering what to do. I know I have a few weeks but a million thoughts went through my mind. My mom comes at 38 weeks, I picked that time thinking I was being delivered at 39 weeks. Luckily my friend is a voice of reason & had a smart solution, which basically is what the doctor probably would pick for me. Schedule my delivery for between 39 & 40 weeks, closer to 40 if possible. The point is to avoid an emergency csection, that a planned is safer & an easier recovery. I am scared to death of another Csection but what ever needs to happen to delivery a healthy baby is what I want. I just want him healthy! And it seems he'll be bigger than his sister, which yay! Every day past 37.5 weeks is good, it's farther than I got with Katie. I hope he comes on his own, I hope I get to experience a vaginal delivery, but we'll see. My mom thinks I'll go into labor myself, I don't. Anyways! Mr. decided to turn the other night, I think he's breach, which may throw a wrench in my delivery plan. Feeling a baby turn in your belly is the craziest, most uncomfortable, experience. I hope he turns back, if he did in fact breach himself. I tell my friend he turned & she tells me "when Bubs turned I packed my bag". That got my mind freaking out. Bag packed? What?! I have no bag packed & hadn't planned to yet. I realized how unready I was. So, thanks friend, for kicking my prepping into gear. I mean I had the swing together & washed, I have clothes washed, I have carseat open, the pack n play (his bed) put up in our room. Pacifiers were not washed, no bag packed, toys not washed, pump not washed/sanitized, but all that got done today. I plan to install his seat in the van just to get the proper angle for the base. I won't keep the seat in there I don't think but as long as the base is ready for quick install I will be happy. I plan to get a new boppy cover, because I don't think any I already have. I want a soft one for him & I found a minky one I want. Little things, trivial things, but important to me.

Well, I guess that's all. My long novel of recent events & thoughts. I can't believe our little boy will be here in about 4 weeks. 4 weeks! My mom will be here in 2.5 weeks! Tell me this isn't all happening. And wish for my sanity having my mom here so long. She might drive me crazy before the kid even gets here.

Pictures

I guess I should update pictures. These are some of the spring photos I did of Katie on Apr 1st.

She LOVED the horses & this one was SO friendly.

 

 

Both outfits were made by Mike's mom, Nini.

34 weeks almost

I am almost 34 weeks (in 2 days) & this is my last full month pregnant. In fact, I probably have about a month left being pregnant. I am shooting for 38 weeks, which would be June 2nd. I asked my doctor if he thought I'd make it to 40 weeks, knowing most likely not. I knew he planned to schedule a Csection if I made it to 39 weeks because of my previous complications. What he laughed & told me "we're pushing for 36-37 weeks" and I was so shocked I didn't ask why he said these numbers. All I could say was "I HOPE I make it past 37 weeks, I'm not trying to have this baby at 36 weeks." I should've asked why, why he picked these ridiculous numbers. I know I had Katie at 37.5 weeks but I also was developing pre-eclampsia for weeks. I was borderline for a long time. As far as I remember I never got bad pre-eclampsia, I just got fed up with being in the hospital and threatened to leave. Doctor gave in. Obviously he was concerned enough, my numbers were high enough, to keep me close (aka hospital jail) but he admitted my numbers were staying consistent while I was there. Anyways, baby boy seems to be smaller than his sister, even though I seem to be having a healthier (aside from weight) pregnancy. I'm still at 20 lbs lost (or so I was about a week ago, I haven't weighed myself since then). He was estimated to be 4 lbs 4 oz on Tuesday (33wks) & estimated to be up to be 6 lbs 12oz at 40 weeks. YIKES!!! Katie was estimated to be 6lbs at 36 weeks & that seemed to be a way more thorough ultrasound at the hospital. She came out at 5lbs 12oz at 37.5 weeks. So I am very concerned about his size! Really concerned & why I want him in as long as possible. 36 weeks, this doctor is crazy! Though he seems to be a good doctor & on Wednesday I can finally ask what his thinking is, why he threw out those numbers and his thinking. My husband is still thinking this all won't happen until his DD. I just need a good idea so I can have my mom out here. It's a little different when you have a kid at home to take care of, can't just end up being on hospital bedrest for a week plus. ANYWAYS! I am 34 weeks nearly & it's crazy to think in a month(or so) I will be a mother of 2 children. I will have my daughter & son, our family complete. CRAZY!

Katie is still being her normal bubbly, energetic, attitudey self. She seems to have grown personality & age wise. My baby girl isn't so baby anymore. She's a kid. No more toddler, no more my little girl. She's becoming a big girl. My itty bitty sized big girl. That Is Crazy!!! She's still not growing height or weight wise, this darn kid. I won't be ready when she does though, I'm so use to her being petite. One day she'll shoot up & I'll be standing there with my mouth open. :(


Last thought, I'm pretty sure our son is named. The name I fought internally, the name that just didn't fit, seems to fit. We were walking up to bed one night & my mind was going everywhere but I thought of our son & bam, that name popped up as his. It wasn't "a" or "b". It WAS B, that was his name. NO! Name A is so much cuter! I like A so much! But B, b seems to be it. I'm scared to tell people because what if I change my mind. I know people who had the same name picked up, told EVERYONE what the kid's name was & bam, kid pops out named something else. Something COMPLETELY else. First & middle name changed. His(baby boy) middle name is set, it'll be the family middle name, though I wish, I truly wish I could use my dad's name. It would mean a lot to him if I used Thomas & it's a good strong name. I love my dad, he's so special to me. Anyways, baby boy's middle name will be the family middle name. It's special too, it's passed down from dad & granddad. And now, pretty sure his first name is picked too. Really weird, really really weird for him to have a name, even if I'm the only one who knows it. Haha. Mike doesn't even know I've settled on it.

Well, that's is all. Guess I'll head back to bed. Good night & have a great week all!

Time is flying!

I never blog anymore & it's not because I don't want too. Half the time the crappy internet is out so that doesn't help. Then I have a nearly(in 3.5 months) 3 year old. I am 7 months along & man it's hard on my body. I get headaches all the time, backaches a lot, out of breath all the time, especially when walking up stairs. I HATE STAIRS! I still feel a disconnect from reality when it comes to this pregnancy & my life, most likely depression. I have started getting ready for baby, about time right! I have washed the odds & ends and his clothes (nb & 0-3 months). I have a great friend sending me some of her son's baby things & my mother in law will surely be bringing stuff when she comes in 3 weeks.

So, happenings. I'll just make bullet points about them.

• Katie is currently about 22 lbs(up to 22.4 with clothes) & 34 inches tall. Yup, still a very petite princess!
• Baby boy is still unnamed. I thought he was named, I tried to accept the name my husband picked(for the time being) but it just doesn't feel right. I still want him to be named the one I picked.
• Baby boy is small! His belly is measuring behind by about a week. Rest of him is on course or a little big. So, he'll have a small belly & long arms and legs.
• Because of this fact I have growth scans every 2 weeks now & bbp(checking blood flow) scans every week. I have OB appts every 2 weeks but have most of the pregnancy
• 2 weeks ago he was estimated to be 2 lbs 10 oz. This week he was 3lbs 11oz. Gained a pound(supposedly) in 2 weeks.
• Doctor guesses baby boy will only be 6-6.5 lbs at birth, small like his sister.
• The calcium or bright spot is still present in baby boy's abdomen, not sure what it'll mean but doctor doesn't seem too concerned. I guess why worry until you know for sure what it is. :(
• Good side: My BP is excellent & I do not have gestational diabetes. Oh, I've also lost 20-25 lbs. I am starting to gain though so... *sad face*

In 7-8 weeks we will be a family of 4 (or 5 if you include Hershey). That is crazy!

Mother

I am a mother & it still strikes me as odd. I look at my 2.5 yr old daughter & it doesn't seem fully real. I never thought that this would be my life, that I would actually have kids. I always wanted kids, always hoped I'd have them, begging, pleading, prayed for kids but after years of trying I gave up. So it's surreal to have this smart, attitudey, full of personality & spunk child. Then to also be 6 months pregnant with another. Wait, what?! I feel like a normal, fertile, person. We have a family, our lives revolve around our child(ren). It's just surreal, very surreal, that I actually have a child & soon children. I can't say I'm infertile really. This pregnancy has been odd. I know I had a hard time believing I was pregnant last time and I didn't really connect with it but I feel totally disconnected from this pregnancy. I see his carseat box, I go through his to-be clothes, & it's weird and mindless. It saddens me that I am not connected to this baby. Maybe it's depression, maybe it's just life is so busy & I don't have time to reveal at the fact I'm having another child. I know I'm scared to death of having another. I wonder if I'll be able to handle it, being a parent of 2. I know my husband is completely disconnected too. He seems to have no real interest in the baby. You still can't feel kicks on the outside so really what can he do. I guess I'm the one pregnant, the one who feels the movement & kicks, that one going to ultrasounds. If I feel disconnected then what should I expect from him? It becomes real to him when I give birth & maybe it'll become real to me then too. Maybe it'll just be natural going from one to two, I'm told it is. I just wish I was excited, which I am at times but not also at time. I still have 13 or so weeks, I know a lot will change in that time. Kicks will definitely be felt on the outside, I have another ultrasound in just over 2 weeks that Mike should be going too, maybe it'll all start feeling real and right.

Names.  Naming a child is horrible. I don't understand how people can name their child before they even know gender. That makes no sense. I picked the name Katelyn or Katherine when I was 18, I knew I wanted to name my daughter after my best friend at the time, also my sister, & of course my middle name. So, I knew I wanted Katherine Lyn Marie or Katelyn Marie. But when I got pregnant, it wasn't set in stone she'd be named Katelyn. Mike didn't like the name & we threw around names the whole time. I guess she always was going to be Katelyn but I couldn't name her before meeting her. Allison was a possibility at one point & Alexandra was the other contender at birth. So, I had Katie picked out for 10 years BUT it wasn't 100%, I would NOT say for sure, her name was Katelyn until I saw her. And it went like this: Husband, holding her, "She's Katelyn isn't she?". Me "Yup". Anyways, this kid. Ugh! I've had a name picked out since being pregnant with Katie. Mike suggested it & then of course hated it. Get pregnant this time, find out boy, & this name is still in my head as his possible name. I also have this WEIRD slight obsession with a J or N name. We currently are K, L, M last name. So, baby 2 would make us J, K, L, M or K, L, M, N. Am I completely set on a J or N name, No. I was before becoming pregnant but now I want Mike to be happy with his, baby's, name. So if a J or N name isn't sometime he likes then he doesn't. I will be a little sad if it doesn't end up being one of those letters. I think the alphabet thing is cute & special. Anyways, as I did with Katie, I love names one day & hate them the next. THE name, the name picked out 3 years ago, I have a love/hate relationship with. It feels like Katelyn did, like I know it's his name but at the same time, no way it's his name. So I move on to other names we've liked. Funny enough, only 1 name out of those 4 is NOT a J or N name. 5 possible names(which will probably change) & 2 are J and 2 are N names. What can I say, I like my J & N's. We don't even talk about names so we're not even getting closer to one. I would love to name him now or soon but at the same time I want to see him, hold him, to know whether it fits. Who am I kidding. How often do people change their picked out names at birth? You going through the pregnancy calling this baby that name, that child becomes that name by birth. So IF we settled on a name, baby would BE that name. I guess I'm just glad Mike came to his senses about Liam. I don't think I could've handled naming him Liam. And yeah yeah, Mike is suppose to be naming this baby since I named Katie. Ha ha ha. We all know I have finally say on baby's name, I'm the one who will be yelling it through the house. I'm the one who will be spending every second of every day with. But I do want him to be happy with the name so he does have a big say. It's just frustrating since he goes from liking names to passionately hating them days or weeks later. If he just kept liking a few names, it would all be easier. I would be happy if we could settle on 2 names. 3 names even. I think we're down to 4 names. The A name doesn't seem like a possibility, doesn't seem right. Sop, 2 J & 2 N names it is. I don't even know if Mike likes the second J name, I decided on it a few nights ago. Have I said how much I HATE trying to name a child! Why is it so hard for us, SERIOUSLY!!! At least we know his middle name, the family middle name. So, he's 2/3 named! Middle & Last! :)

Time Flies

Where is the time going? Lately I can't believe how big Katie seems. She seems to be changing every day & growing more and more, though not physically. I swear this girl refuses to grow any taller or gain any weight. She seems bigger so maybe she has grown, I'll have to measure her. Probably in a few weeks/months. I can't seem to get things done. I need to sell Katie's clothes but barely started. I got the baby towels/burps rags sold, that's it. I need to go through actual clothes & sell them. I went through the baby boy clothes I bought & separated them into sizes. I'm tempted to buy more boy clothes but am too lazy to actually meet people. This pregnancy leaves me in a constant exhausted state. I have no energy ever & I sleep like crap. Insomnia is horrible this pregnancy. Every night (or at least 98% of the time) I am awake for at least 2 hours in the middle of sleep. Sometimes I'm lucky & it's 3 hours of wide awake time before I get to sleep again. No wonder I can't get anything done. Ugh! Baby boy is active & is weighing in a 1 lb 9 oz as of Tuesday, right on track for 25 weeks. His femur was measuring at 27 weeks so I'm hoping he'll be tall like his daddy. It still seems so crazy that in 3 months or so we'll have 2 children, a daughter & a son. We struggled for so many years & I seriously thought we'd never have kids. I didn't think that dream would come true for us. Then we got lucky with Katie & while I hoped for another I didn't actually think it'd happen. Now I'm scared to death it's actually happening. I am terrified to have 2 kids. I am overwhelmed with 1, how will I handle 2? How will I have any energy for Katie when I know the baby will drain me mentally & physically? I'm scared, honestly scared, for June to come but excited. Can I also say I'm horrified for July to come & to have a 3 yr old?! NO! Baby girl stop growing! She can't be 3, I miss my tiny, itty bitty, baby girl. I think "oh you'll get baby time again, you're having another" but it doesn't feel the same. I miss my little baby girl, my sweet petite princess. I have a feeling I'll have a chunky monkey prince or at least normal sized newborn boy. He better not grow too fast. I have over 500 size 1 diapers & over 200 newborn diapers. I also have 60 preemie in case, Katie was in preemies for a few weeks. Yeah, I have 867 diapers bought already.... I know one thing for sure, he'll be diapered & he'll be clothed until at least 3-6 months. :) So I miss my tiny newly born baby girl but man to watch her grow & learn, it's amazing. She can count to 12! I'm working on counting fingers & items, food bribing is a big one. Tell how many "X"s there are & you can have one. Yup, yup! Ain't no shame if she's learning! :) She loves the snow & the cold. I hate it but this kid LOVES it! Good thing we just got another round of snow last night. She'll have a blast.

Well I'm sure I'm forgetting tons but I need to get back to bed. Good night/morning (it's 6:35am)!

An Interesting & Busy few weeks.

I last wrote a month ago & we did our big move 3 weeks ago. Man was it crazy. We spent the last week of January cleaning our butts off to get the house ready to give back to the rental company. We still have boxes every where but our place also looks lived in. I love the 4 bedrooms, it's so nice having a room just for Katie & a room just for baby boy. I've already started getting him clothes. I found an awesome lot for $25 & I tell you, he is completely prepared from 0 to 3 months. I might get a few more newborn items & definitely look for 6m-9m pieces but man, he has a lot of clothes already. I'll most likely have to sell or donate some of what I have since I know family will be buying for him too. Baby boy is SO active at times. He kicks all the time I tell ya. It's hard for them to get his heartbeat on Doppler but he starts kicking when they start so I know he's fine. They found a calcium spot on the ultrasound in his abdomen so we're hoping for the best. They said it could be nothing or it could be a hernia in his intestines which would need immediate surgery. Obviously I'm hoping for nothing. I'll get ultrasound every month to check on it. The ultrasound kills my body. My back & hips, I usually end up hurting for a few days afterwards because the ultrasounds take about 45 mins. Ouch! But he's growing like he should & like I said, he's a kicker.

Katie seems to be changing too. She's got attitude, goodness. She's still only 33 inches(I believe it was 33) & she's still RFing but I might change that. I like her being behind my seat in the van but it's not really "proper" because the front seat is touching her carseat. I just can't buckle myself in without it back. I have trouble where it is, I need it more back if possible but can't because of her seat. I am ready to FF her but I'm not. She's still small & I wanted to RF til she was 3 at least. I know she's 2 1/2 now but I'm very scared to move her FF. I'm scared of the what ifs. What if we crash, it's not as safe. She'd be safer RFing! Dilemmas, dilemmas. :( Anyways, I think Katie's vocabulary is expanding. She talks so much, even if sometimes you have no idea what she's saying. She gets frustrated when you don't understand her. She is obsessed with helicopters(hopcopters) & clocks. Those are the 2 huges ones. We hear & see helicopters all the darn time now living on post & she SCREAMS every time. "Mom, Dad, Hopcopters!!! LOOK!!! LOOK!! See it?!?!" She goes crazy. She also points clocks out everywhere, even on TV. Any type of clock is like a magnet for her eyes, she'll see the smallest or fartherest away clocks I swear. Yes, Yes, It's a clock kid. I finally put the batteries in her clock in her playroom. She was so excited. I finally found an awesome invention called Dapper Snappers which let me put age sized clothes on my kid. She had been rocking high waters for months & they just got worse & worse. She was getting taller but not any rounder. So now I can put 2T clothes on her with these bands/belts. YAY!!!

So, we have a 2 1/2 year old little girl & I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with our little boy. It's weird to think in 3.5-4 months we'll have a baby boy & 6-8 weeks later we'll have a 3 year old little(but big) girl. I hope munchkin #2 is normal size but at the same time I'd love a petite one like his sister. I think/hope he'll be a normal sized & growing little boy. He may be small at birth(I do think he'll have to come early for medical reasons) but I hope he grows a little faster than Katie did. I hope he'll be tall like his dad,

Oh my gosh, by the way, this pregnancy sort of sucks. Haha. With Katie I have luscious hair & nails, barely any symptoms of pregnancy. This one, pst. My nails are so brittle, my hair is so dry & broken, & my skin is so sensitive, our water makes me break out in a rash every time I shower. I'm not even exaggerating, I'm like allergic to this water! I had nausea/morning sickness at 20 weeks & I get heartburn so easy. I was eating cheddar & bbq snack mix and felt the burn starting. It didn't get to full blown heartburn but it wanted too. From crackers!!! He's lucky he's a kicker & it's so cool to feel. I'm sure him being a kicker will be a pain in the butt later, when he gets bigger and more powerful. Hahaha. Good thing it's my second/last pregnancy. :)

What a week!

Mike's work week was only 4 days long but I swear it was one of the longest week ever. It was mentally & physically exhausting. Even Mike's first day off was tiring & exhausting because of moving. When stressed I become a bitch & with this move and getting a call that a realtor wants to show the house in less than 24 hrs is stress-the fuck-ful! Point being I was a monster mom at times & my poor kid had to deal with it. My kid always has to deal with my bad moods & sometimes their bad. But this kid, I tell you, is the most compassionate & caring person I know. The most forgiving. After yelling & getting onto her all day, she would hug me and give me love. She would snap me out of the bad & make me realize how amazing she was. I really am so lucky & thankful to my daughter. She's so full of attitude, personality, & energy.

We got to see the baby this week. My amazing & LONG gender scan. We got to see it all on a big screen TV mounted on the wall. Katie knew or at least pretended to know that she was seeing her baby brother/sister on the screen. She heard a baby cry in the hallway/other room and she said "I hear it". Haha. I was so amazed seeing baby's head, body, legs, arms, spine! The spine was something so crazy & special, I'm not sure why but I was so amazed everytime I saw the spine. Baby was moving all around at first but then little buttheat didn't want to show us the goods. I thought I saw something & the tech did too but she couldn't say for sure. She said at some angles she saw boy & some she saw girl.  Baby's legs were tucked under the belly, then bent & tucked under the butt. Part of the problem was baby's foot was right in front of the crotch. After 45 mins & my back starting to kill me she got another tech. I was honestly ok with going home not knowing yet. 18 weeks, while in the 18-20 weeks gender scan time frame, seemed early. I know some girls find out at 15-16 weeks but I don't think I was fully ready to know. 15 weeks, that's so crazy to me to find out gender. Anyways, the second tech comes in & I see the same thing I had seen before and I was right. The second tech got a good picture & we found out what our new little munchkin was. :)
Maybe it's because I know this is our last baby I realized I would be a little upset whether baby was boy or girl. I wanted a boy, a son, to pass down the family name and for Mike to have his son. Every man should get a son, if he's lucky enough. I also wanted a mama's boy. So I wanted a son very badly. I wanted one of each, a perfect little family. I also realized I wanted a girl, for the simple fact that I wanted Katie to get the same special bond I have with my sister. I wanted Katie to have a sister. And having another little girl to dress up wouldn't be so bad. I had 2 dreams where I was holding a new baby girl with my beautiful big girl running around. My dreams last time were right, they must be this time too. I started settling into the idea having a girl & really that's not bad. I literally have 15(or so, I haven't counted actually) diaper boxes of baby girl clothes. I have almost everything for a girl so having a girl won't bankrupt us. Not that a boy would but we'd need clothes on top of a new carseat & boy blankets/towels/etc. Having a boy also means going through & selling 99.9% of my baby girl clothes. This is our last baby & there is a part of me that wants another, hopes for another, but we shouldn't have another. I'm only 18 weeks & I'm already sad for this to be my last time. How pathetic is that?

So, time for the big reveal. What is munchkin love #2?! We're having a baby boy. His measurement were from 17wks 3 days to 18wks. He weighed 8 ounces! My half pound baby boy. I felt so many hits & kicks during the scan, it was so truly amazing! I'm in disbelief we're having a boy, I really thought it was going to be a girl. Last time we found out girl (which is what I wanted & knew all along) I kept gravitating towards boy stuff. Boy names, boy clothes. This time we're having a boy & I keep gravitating towards girl stuff. I find that so weird. I am excited to start shopping for our son but also scared, overwhelmed. I can't wait to feel kicks all the time, feel him move, see him more on ultrasounds. Pick his name though that truly is going to suck. We're not good at picking/deciding on names. We're both so stubborn & baby names seems to be the touchiest subject ever for us. Good luck baby on being named before you're born. :)

Life

Life has been so hectic & crazy. I had my physical on the 23rd & I asked to hear the baby on Doppler. She wasn't able to find/hear baby so she was kind enough to get the ultrasound. My doctor has a crappy old one so all you literally see is movement. She wasn't trained on ultrasounds so she couldn't tell me if it was a heart beating or the baby moving. Movement is movement & it gave me a little peace of mind. I had my regular appt on the 30th & she found baby on Doppler. Unfortunately loud doctor walked in seconds after finding baby & I was distracted. She only kept the Doppler on for maybe 10-15 seconds total, including the interrupting doctor. I heard my baby love though, a healthy heartbeat. It was the first time I felt like I could breathe & relax this pregnancy. I heard his/her actual heartbeat. I have no idea what the number was though. Right when I was going to ask she was pulling it away. The visit with the doctor was 2 minutes tops. This is that, up your meds, any questions? Nope, next appt & gender scan in a few weeks. Goodbye. Um, ok. So, yeah, our gender is coming up shortly, I'll be 18 weeks. I'm tempted to do gender reveal photos before hand so I make the cards as soon as we find out & can get them sent on their way asap. I'd obviously have to do boy & girl photos so they'd be ready. I'm sure, as with my luck, the better photos will be the wrong gender. Maybe photoshop will be my friend & I could change the color if necessary. Haha. Or just do white glitter so I can add whatever color needs. Not sure how well that'd work.

I am amazed all the time by Katie. She is so smart & so curious, annoyingly so at times. Don't take that wrong, I love her with all my heart, it's just sometimes she's a lot to handle. She seems to know if you're frazzled & does everything she can to make you more frazzled. Sometimes I really wish we lived closer to family so I could get a break every now & then. Also, I'd love her to get more family time, it kills me knowing our families are missing out on so much of her life. The joy of military life I suppose. Katie's personality is so big. She is so silly & lovey. Lately she'll just walk up to you & snuggle for a few seconds. She'll rub her face against your belly or chest & say "I love you, awww", it reminds me of a cat. She sometimes will randomly kiss you and she's pretty good of giving you kiss if you ask. Unless she's mad at you, then she won't. :( She's got my attitude & I think her daddy's personality. I can't believe our baby girl is almost 2.5. Where is the time going?! January 7th will be 3 years since we found out we were expecting her/a baby. Though I knew instantly we were having a girl, I just knew.

We're wading into the new home/moving water. We signed papers for our home on post on Dec 31st & moved all baby items to the new home on Friday(2nd). We have 3 more weekends to move our stuff, the 24th is our BIG move day(all the big/heavy stuff). The last week of the month we'll spending cleaning & painting this (current) home. I am incredibly stressed with the move & kind of in general. We have so much to do, it's crazy. I want to do it all but also just ignore it all. Haha. It'll get done, hopefully sooner rather than later though. :)  The more we do early, the less stress there will be the end of the month.

Well I guess that's about it. Have a beautiful day.