"No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Time Flies

Where is the time going? Lately I can't believe how big Katie seems. She seems to be changing every day & growing more and more, though not physically. I swear this girl refuses to grow any taller or gain any weight. She seems bigger so maybe she has grown, I'll have to measure her. Probably in a few weeks/months. I can't seem to get things done. I need to sell Katie's clothes but barely started. I got the baby towels/burps rags sold, that's it. I need to go through actual clothes & sell them. I went through the baby boy clothes I bought & separated them into sizes. I'm tempted to buy more boy clothes but am too lazy to actually meet people. This pregnancy leaves me in a constant exhausted state. I have no energy ever & I sleep like crap. Insomnia is horrible this pregnancy. Every night (or at least 98% of the time) I am awake for at least 2 hours in the middle of sleep. Sometimes I'm lucky & it's 3 hours of wide awake time before I get to sleep again. No wonder I can't get anything done. Ugh! Baby boy is active & is weighing in a 1 lb 9 oz as of Tuesday, right on track for 25 weeks. His femur was measuring at 27 weeks so I'm hoping he'll be tall like his daddy. It still seems so crazy that in 3 months or so we'll have 2 children, a daughter & a son. We struggled for so many years & I seriously thought we'd never have kids. I didn't think that dream would come true for us. Then we got lucky with Katie & while I hoped for another I didn't actually think it'd happen. Now I'm scared to death it's actually happening. I am terrified to have 2 kids. I am overwhelmed with 1, how will I handle 2? How will I have any energy for Katie when I know the baby will drain me mentally & physically? I'm scared, honestly scared, for June to come but excited. Can I also say I'm horrified for July to come & to have a 3 yr old?! NO! Baby girl stop growing! She can't be 3, I miss my tiny, itty bitty, baby girl. I think "oh you'll get baby time again, you're having another" but it doesn't feel the same. I miss my little baby girl, my sweet petite princess. I have a feeling I'll have a chunky monkey prince or at least normal sized newborn boy. He better not grow too fast. I have over 500 size 1 diapers & over 200 newborn diapers. I also have 60 preemie in case, Katie was in preemies for a few weeks. Yeah, I have 867 diapers bought already.... I know one thing for sure, he'll be diapered & he'll be clothed until at least 3-6 months. :) So I miss my tiny newly born baby girl but man to watch her grow & learn, it's amazing. She can count to 12! I'm working on counting fingers & items, food bribing is a big one. Tell how many "X"s there are & you can have one. Yup, yup! Ain't no shame if she's learning! :) She loves the snow & the cold. I hate it but this kid LOVES it! Good thing we just got another round of snow last night. She'll have a blast.

Well I'm sure I'm forgetting tons but I need to get back to bed. Good night/morning (it's 6:35am)!

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