21 weeks

Seriously? I pre-wrote the 20 week update last week because we were heading out of town for a family funeral. Ugh, that long drive was killer! Anyways, I didn't get time to really to think about the fact I was halfway through my pregnancy. I hadn't been feeling the baby either but in the last week he/she has become so active! It's so crazy! 21 week! A week past halfway!!! Geesh! As I lay in bed Thursday night I started to think about the fact I'm pregnant. That I'm actually feeling the baby & that I'm halfway home! It's still, even at 21 weeks, SURREAL! :) So Surreal!

We got a lot of family time. Sometimes I was driven crazy & it was odd talking about "our baby" & all things pertaining to a pregnancy/parenthood but it was nice. I got to say "We're 20 weeks, halfway!" which is amazing but I didn't actually really think about that fact. My aunt told Mike he has to start talking to the baby. My fat roll was rubbed by a few different people which was kinda embarrassing but whatever. Most importantly I got to see all the stuff that has been bought for us/our baby. OUR BABY! Baby stuff for OUR Baby! Did I mention it's still surreal & I still am in denial. I went baby shopping with my  mom which was interesting. It was more of me hitting the baby section while we were shopping. I wish I could've baby shopped with my sister. I officially bought my FIRST maternity clothes. Not just a size bigger that'll be cute when I'm huge but actual maternity clothes bought from Motherhood. Mike & I went to the mall & we walked by Motherhood. I knew it was there & had no plans on going in there but when we were there something pulled me in. I got one pair of shorts & 2 shirts. Yay for Plus Size Motherhood clothes!!! I also put in the 7 month baby bump which really was so unbelievable. To see myself with that big of a bump & to know someday I'll look like that. It won't be wishing or hoping, it'll be reality. :) So amazing. I HAVE to take new pictures because I feel like I've blown up the last 2 weeks. I totally forgot to take week 20 pictures which makes me sad but I'll take week 21 pictures. Wow, week 21 pictures!!! :) The pictures are just for my reference until I actually start looking pregnant. Like really pregnant, not just "she may be pregnant but she's a big girl so who knows". :)

Baby Stats...... Well.... :)
He or She should be about 11 inches & weigh 15 ounces! Wow, our big baby!!! :)

19 & 20 weeks

There is alot going on here so I'm going to combine 2 weeks into one blog. Lazy I know!

At 19 weeks Baby can sleep & DREAM! :) What are you dreaming about Baby C? Ticker says Baby is 10.5 inches & 10.5 ounces! Oh goodness! He/She probably will hit this weight sometime towards the end of this week since he/she is smaller. But still, oh my gosh! :) Baby may also start hearing my heart beat & hear mumbled sounds. Hello Baby C!

Symptons: Fatigue, Nausea, Acne, Sensitive skin, Stretch marks, sensitive & painful nipples!

At 20 weeks baby's movements should become stronger because bones are hardening! Yay! I've felt some movement the last few weeks but not a ton. It'll be nice to start to feel them more! I might be able to tell when baby is sleeping or awake. :) Ticker says Baby should be 10.5 inches & weigh 13 ounces! Once again, probably will hit this about the end of 20 weeks. :) How exciting!

18

Today I am 18 weeks! 4 months into this pregnancy which seems amazing! I'm no longer going to go by my phone app because it says that baby right now at 18 weeks should be...

5-5.8 inches long & weigh 5.3 ounces

The ticker on my page says baby should be 10 inches head to toe, no weight given.
I looked at the ticker the day of my appt & it said at 17 weeks baby was suppose to be 6 inches & 7 ounces. At my appt baby weighed 7 ounces so she/he truly is measuring nearly a week small. I'm keeping my DD though. :)

Here is Baby C! Her(or his) beautiful face)

Please pinch me!

My appt on Thursday. Oh goodness! Chances are I will end up having to go back to the high risk doctors but I seriously hope it's not for a long time! Or at least not THAT doctor. He was a total dick & made me feel like complete crap. He basically told me I will have a hard & bad pregnancy no matter what. All my numbers looked good but those weren't good enough. "Normal" wasn't good enough. The fact I lost 30 lbs before pregnancy & lost 10 more in 12 weeks didn't even pentrate his ear. I've since started gaining back those 10 back but only about half so far. Didn't matter. He made me feel like crap about myself & that I will screw this up.

The actual ultrasound. It hurt & I basically just got to listen to Mike & the nurse. The nurse only turned the screen for about 15-20 seconds to show me my jack-knifed baby. My(our) Baby! :) It sucked not getting to watch her(him) move around but there is a benefit of only getting to listen & feel. I got to hear the amazement in Mike's voice, the first time he's seen his child. Mike got to see our baby scratch it's head to which he informed me I'm growing a monkey, not a human. :) I got to feel how big the baby was because head was at the bottom of my uterus & legs were at the top. It amazed me the paddle(or whatever) had to be moved SO much from head to legs. Then baby sommersaulted & head was at the top while baby jack-knifed itself. We only got 3 pictures & 2 were front facing creepy alien looking ones. The third is shown. I asked about gender but she told me it was too early for them to do an anatomy scan. She did try to look & it was a perfect time since baby was jack-knifed/clearly showing an open picture of the private area but baby just wasn't in the right area to be able to get the correct angle. Oh well, no hurry on finding out. I'm curious but I can wait a few more weeks.

All in all, baby is healthy and seeing the baby again on ultrasound makes it more real. Still in denial which is silly at 18 weeks but I just can't believe our dream is really coming true. 6 years & it's happening. 4 months in even! :)

17 weeks!

Baby C should be measuring about 4.5 to 5 inches CRL or the size of an onion! That's awesome! Baby C should weigh about 3.5 ounces! :)

This last week hasn't been too bad. I did my 16 wk update on Tuesday/Wednesday so you know what has happened those days. Doctor's appt. The no energy was better this last week, thank goodness. My husband doesn't understand how I can be so exhausted after doing nothing. He doesn't understand you're not normal when pregnant, you're so many things at different times. Walking Zombie, Highly Irritable, Irrational, Bitchy, Plotting a beat down. Talking to friends helps, get out that steam. If people didn't know me & just heard me lately they'd think I completely hated my husband & they'd wonder why I was with him. Then again, probably anyone not pregnant currently & hearing me might think the same thing. My husband has been driving me crazy. Ok, I said it! We also have good times & happy times. Today we're heading to Tucson & I'm hoping we can get in some Baby or Maternity Shopping. Ok mostly I want bras that fit. I doubt I'll find new clothes that fit any better than my current ones but who knows. Not easy big girl maternity shopping. Anywho, I'll insist on some ME shopping if I have the energy to do so. Darn unpredictable energy levels. :)

It's weird but I've kinda gone back to being in denial about being pregnant. I don't feel pregnant & saying I'm pregnant seems like a cruel joke, like fantasy. Who am I trying to pretend I'm pregnant, that our dreams are coming true? It freaks me out for it not to feel real again. There was a time when it felt real & amazing. Maybe it's just a defensive mechanicism. I've always been able to picture myself pregnant & with a child. I can't now. I can't picture myself hugely pregnant. It scares me that I can't picture it. Maybe I'm just freaked out currently. It'll get real again, especially on Thursday. I am SO ready to look pregnant, to feel the baby move, to see the baby move. I'm so ready for the next step. I don't want to rush the pregnancy but I'm just ready to FEEL it! :)