Slowly but Quickly

Life seems to be going slowly but SO quickly. Today I am 15 weeks along with munchkin love. I am so paranoid this pregnancy & consistently fear something is wrong. I don't feel pregnant anymore, I don't have the nausea & such. In the morning I have sore boobs but they go away. I have an appt today but it's a physical. I don't know if they'll do the Doppler, even if I ask. I need to hear his/her heartbeat, I need to know he/she is ok. At the same time, if something is wrong do I really want to find out right before Christmas. I'm already sad we're not home with family and it just doesn't feel like Christmas here. It looks like Christmas but doesn't feel like it. So, in a nutshell, I'm worried about baby and anxious about today. I had a stomach flu early last week & I lost a nice chunk of weight. I was down 20 lbs(from pre-pregnancy). I gained back 5. Grrr! Then again, I literally had nothing in my stomach for 24 hrs & could barely eat for another day. I guess shows you what a pig I am to gain back so much in so little time. Waa Waa! I'm still, according to our scale, down 15 lbs. I HOPE the doctor scale shows at least a few lbs lost.

Christmas. Well, it does look like it here. Our stockings are hung, we have a decorated tree & presents under it. Our front door is decorated/has lights. The mantel had lights but they decided to die 2 days ago so up. We have Christmas decorations up too & a mini tree with lights. I would be listening to more Christmas music but my hubby is a butthead & hates it. Stupid boys! We got stuff to make a nice little meal on Christmas too. It just doesn't feel like Christmas is 2 days away. Just doesn't feel special. And maybe that's because I know in a week we start the process of moving our home. Packing & moving & new home! I am stressed about that.

Katie is still my spitfire & full of energy. She now will repeat songs from her shows. She's been eating REALLY great lately, that's so awesome. I hope it keeps up because she needs to gain weight. Even I'm worried now. 2 lbs in 5 months is not a lot.

Well, that's about it. Have a great day & a Merry Christmas!

December

It has officially been 1 year since we left Sierra Vista, Az & I super miss my old life. I miss my friend & her son. I know she'd have my back & be my shoulder during this pregnancy. Oh well. Anyways, Katie is getting so big & I think she's grown a little more. I need to measure her but I do know the scale showed her weighing 22 lbs. Big girl! She's mostly back to happy go lucky but with pain in the butt mixed in. I left Katie with a babysitter/a friend on Tuesday for my appt and she did amazing. She had no problem with left with someone she barely knows. Good & bad I know. The other day I was getting water from the fridge & Katie saw the ultrasound on the fridge. She said "my baby" & pointed up at the us. It surprised me because we're told her about being a big sister & we're talked a little about it but it's not like an every day thing. It just surprised me she randomly pointed to the us & talk me that's her baby. :)

So, my first appt with new doctor was Tuesday & I have mixed feelings on it. I hate doctors telling me & insisting I'm going to have a hard pregnancy because of my size. He said I had a hard one last time & I did not. I had a few blips & ended up with pre-eclampsia the last 2-3 weeks but I don't consider that bad. He's going to highly monitor me since Katie was small. Again, she was small but she wasn't preemie or ever in NICU. She was completely healthy. So, whatever dude. I guess I won't complain about getting monthly ultrasounds after 20 weeks. :) Getting to see munchkin every month, watching him/her grow will be nice. I passed my glucose test but apparently doc wants me on a sugar free diet. Also to lose weight. So, after being annoyed with him I decided he just wants what's best for baby & for a easier healthier pregnancy. So, ok. I've been really watching what I eat & staying away from extra sugar. According to my scale I've lost almost 12 lbs in 3 months. I'll just keep it up. Maybe I'll keep getting the nausea that keeps me only eating a little. It sort of tells me "ok, enough, stop eating or I'll make you super nauseous". I'm talking like 1.5 eggs, 3/4 of my sandwich plus tomatoes & cucumber slices, etc. I can still eat, just not as much as before. Good for weight loss.

Well, I guess that's about all. I'll leave Katie's Christmas photo. It wasn't really what I wanted to do but we were having crappy weather & I needed to finish Christmas presents. Maybe we'll have a good day for more photos but I'll probably stick with the ones I did. :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

News News

What's new? Well, I passed my glucose test. My number weren't as good as last time but they're still within range & I have some wiggle room so if they do go up I will hopefully be ok. Monday I did the test & she said "if they're really bad, they'll call today". I get a missed call from the hospital & I almost bawled. I freaked out because they'd only call if really bad, my gosh they're really bad. It wasn't even about the glucose test, it was about them passing me off to another doctor. "We don't think we can handle the complications we expect to arise". Well, screw you. So now I'm being seen in the complete opposite direction of town. Well my first apt is on Tuesday. Reviews say he's a great doctor but his staff are rude/bitches so we'll see. At Bach(on post) kids are allowed & new place they are not. That sucks & opens a whole new bag of issues. Ugh!

I am 12 weeks along with munchkin & supposedly he/she is .5 oz & 2 inches long. Grow baby grow. My nausea has come back. We went to my brother's for Thanksgiving & I had very very few symptoms and that really worried me. Came home & bam, nauseous. Great! Also my breast hurt again. I think those are good signs at least. :) Katie was a pain in the butt in Ks & has continued to be. She is SO darn whiney all the time. At times nothing you do is right. She wants down, no she wants up, no she wants down. She wants in the middle apparently. If you don't do it right it's a total meltdown. We are seriously going to lose our minds with her. I miss my always happy go lucky kid. She still has those moments & they are so welcome. Terrible 2's or teething, what ever it is I hope it's time is almost over or at least a break in them is in store.

We found out on Monday that our landlord is raising the rent which we can't really afford SO we're moving in January. Right now it looks like we'll end up on post but we have til the end of December to decide & sign papers. I am SO darn stressed with this move & I know stress is so bad. All that needs to happen keeps going through my mind & I want to start packing/moving now! I partly don't want to decorate for Christmas but I know I need too. January will be for packing & moving, I need to make Christmas great for Katie. And for myself because I will definitely miss being home for Christmas.

Well I guess that's about all. This seems to be turning into my everything blog instead of just about kids. Oh well, it'll get back to just about kids. :)

OB Orientation!

Yesterday was such a long day & the crappiness had spilled over from the night before. I only got about 3.5 hours of sleep so you know that's going to be fun. We get ready & I get to my appt 20 minutes early. Sit there, sit there, sit there. It was about 15 minutes after my appt & it was an 8 am appt. She was kind of rude & expected me to remember every med I've been on for the last 13 years. How am I suppose to remember what depression medicine I was on in 2001, I was 17. After the paperwork she went to find an appt & asked if I could come back at 1:40. I wasn't thrilled & I had no idea why I was coming back but ok, sure, whatever. Nurse was suppose to put in a new prenatal but of course when I got to the pharmacy it wasn't put it. I was there for about 2 hours total. You know they need their 10 vials of blood. So, crabby/impatient/whiney kid & I left the hospital to relax at home for a few hours. I went back & again early but once again, waited about 30 mins past my appt which is awesome with a kid already done with being at a hospital. She wasn't too bad but she was super hyper/active because she had been awake since 5:30 & only a 10 minute nap about 9:30. My second appt was for the growth scan since according to my last cycle I was 17-18 weeks & according to sex I was 10wks5days. The doctor/whoever she was walked in & I kid you not, these were her first words to me. "Are you diabetic already? (No) Well guess what you get to do." She could've just told me she'd like me to come do an early g.d. test & I would've understood. But the way she did was very bitchy in my opinion. They assumed I'd have G.D. with Katie because of my size & my scores were fantastic! Then nim-wit does the ultrasound & she barely puts it in & she couldn't find the baby. It really made no sense, it seemed like she didn't know what she was doing & I'm sure she did but she was barely putting it in & putting no real pressure to find the baby. So she leaves & I'm about to bawl because where is my baby. New doctor comes in, very personable & friendly. Finds baby in 3 seconds. My beautiful little munchkin, moving all around, & he/she waved. I saw the heart beat & I was in awe. I kept sighing & they kept asking if I was ok. Of course I'm ok, I am seeing our baby, our beautiful little surprise, alive & well. He/She measured 10wks3days. With Katie she measured 6 days smaller than my EDD so it was nice that this one, maybe because of better machines or just closer to conception, only measured 2 days smaller. June 16th, 2015 our munchkin love is due! YAY!!!!

Katie was such a handful yesterday. I brought her water color book, I brought snacks, we sang our ABCs, she ran around a small room, she was constantly getting up & down. She was whiny & wanted my attention at all times which is hard when trying to get information. I had asked my husband to come to the second appt & I knew he probably couldn't but it would've been nice. He ignored my text. Yesterday was just overwhelming & I know it was hard on her too. I was nauseous, exhausted, & irritable. She was exhausted & bored. 2 overwhelmed girls don't mesh well together.

I have my glucose test on Monday & although my husband's leave starts Monday he has to go into work. So, I will get to deal with most likely extreme nausea & an active crazy 2 year old. I plan to take a backpack with a ton of stuff. Books, crayons, coloring books, toys, lots of snacks for her. I hope I can keep her entertained good enough & I hope I can keep the drink down. I know last time they made me very nauseous & I didn't have a issue with nausea/morning sickness. I battle nausea/morning sickness with this pregnancy so adding a strong nausea inducing drink won't help. My suppose to be babysitter for all my appts is still working her regular job which is her prerogative honestly but kind of sucks when I could use being kid free. Oh well. Millions of moms have done it before me, I can do it. It'll hopefully be over within 90 minutes. Ha, I know how unlikely that'll be, probably take 30 minutes just to get the drink, then it'll probably be past an hour when I get called back for blood. These people aren't timely. :)

As for Katie. She is so full of energy & joy. She's obsessed with the moon, clocks, trucks, buses, SPIDERS, almost anything. She's so curious & excited. She likes to say/sing 'Happy Birthday To You' & 'Let it Go'. We haven't even seen Frozen but she loves that song & the snowman. We got a little snow this week & she said it was "a snowman!". She's so loving & caring. When I get sick she always asks if I'm ok. If I look sad she'll ask if I'm ok. She'll rub my face & tell me it's ok. She's going to be a great big sister & she's fascinated by babies. She gets upset if she hears a baby crying & yesterday she walked over to stare at a newborn baby boy. I'm so excited to see her relationship with the new baby. I really do love that kid. As much of a pain she is & as overwhelmed I get with her, she's an amazing kid. She is such a light in my life. Oh! And we've finally broken the public toilet barrier. She will pee in a public toilet now! Thank freaking goodness! She started Thursday night. Sigh of relief since we're about to be traveling to Kansas & not having to take her toilet is nice. :)

No Title

I can't think of a snappy or even to the point title. Well I guess miserable would do it but that's a sucky title, plus I might have to use that later. We have hit the terrible 2's or at least the please shoot me WHINEY 2's. My house would be full of cheese if she got cheese with her whines. Wake up to bedtime is 75% unhappiness from her, complete my life is over meltdowns. She doesn't get to eat what she wants, has to eat what I want her to, can't watch her show for the umpteen time, won't change the channel/show after 5 minutes of the current, requested, cartoon. Doesn't want to get dressed, doesn't want to put her undies & pants back on after pee, hates all her pajamas. I've seriously thought "if we lived close to home I'd SO send you to grandma's right now". I need a break. I probably even just go visit said grandma/mom's house. Just having the extra help & plus kids love their grandmas & grandmas spoil kids. It has been so cold here & I freeze non-stop so no way in heck I'm going outside to let her run off steam. Today's high is 32. It is currently 32 now. So, it's going to get colder, 28, before it gets warmer, 32, again. It's going to drop to 20 by 2am & finally a low of 19 by 7am. My husband is way too busy today so I have to try & make a doctor's appt tomorrow. I'm a Cali girl, we were in AZ a year ago, I'm not use to this COLD! I am telling you, I am always under a blanket. My heater is set to 72 during the day & I still freeze to death, under my mink blanket. Enough with the cold & back to the 2 yr old. I should interact with her (makes it sound like I just ignore her, I don't) but I am so darn tired all the time and I usually feel like crap. Headaches, backaches, nausea, heartburn, it's been 1-2 something all the time. If I'm lucky I get all those during the day on top of being exhausted. I woke up this morning with my esophagus burning, heartburn from hell. From lunch. Not even dinner, it was from lunch. When I wake up with heartburn that usually means I'll *tmi* get sick with nothing stomach. I puke up bile which hurts & taste ..... I can't even describe it. It is the most vile thing ever. The most bile thing ever *ba ba bum!*.  Seriously though, it's horrendous. And now that I think of it, when that happens I'm nauseous all day after. This all happened yesterday too. At first, I couldn't eat much which I thought "hey, awesome, weight loss". Now I'm constantly hungry. I try really hard to eat healthy. At least get in some fruits & veggies, more than I use too. I try to not randomly snack on pretzels or whatever. Some days are good, some are bad. So, all in all, this pregnancy kind of sucks, major balls, at times. I can't wait to feel normal again, I'm sure my daughter can't wait either. :) 10 weeks down. Only 30 to go! Woo hoo!

Well, off to snuggle in bed for hopefully a few more hours. Maybe 2 if I'm lucky! Hopefully I'll sleep, I need it! :)

Insomnia

This pregnancy insomnia is no fucking joke. I haven't dealt too much with peeing like crazy but that has started kicking in. Went to bed at 11, woke up at midnight to pee. Woke up again at 2 & knew I wasn't getting back to sleep soon. Last pregnancy I just had plain insomnia, with added baby kicks. Tonight is totally pregnancy insomnia. I was thirsty, nauseous, headache, backache, & a lot of uterus/uteral pressure. I couldn't get comfortable because of the pressure & I think all the moving around caused the back pain. I didn't want to get a drink because that's what caused waking up twice in 2 hours, plus I was nauseous. Nausea & water don't mix for me, it makes it worse & I usually don't keep it down. I finally passed the threshold between awake & sleep once, just barely asleep, & my kid cried out in her sleep. Yup, some cursing happened in my head. After almost 2 hours of trying to get back to sleep my bladder called again. Thanks bladder, I didn't even drink that much. 11, 12, 2, & 3:45. A total of 4 times in 5 hours. Joyous! I gave up on sleep so here I am blogging & drinking water, because that's really smart. Other than this crap, the pregnancy is going ok. I've had to start using a rubberband with my pants because they're too tight regular. I know I'm not that far along but some days I am so bloated. My wonderful sister has loose lips & decided it was ok to tell some cousins that I'm pregnant. The only people who know are my immediate family & 2 close friends. Mike's parents & grandparents know but I don't even know if his siblings do. I imagine his mom told them but we didn't. I haven't put it on facebook & I while I have blogged about it, my family doesn't read this blog. I don't really have plans of putting it on facebook, I didn't with Katie until I was like 18 weeks. So, most likely it won't end up on facebook until January. It pisses me off that my sister felt she could tell them. She also decided to tag me in a baby name article. I asked her to send it to me, like email/fb message. I removed the tag but still all our family/mutual friends can see my name on a baby name post. The reason my sister told my cousins was because my nosey cousin assumed because we weren't coming home in Dec that it was because I'm pregnant. Not that case, it's the 3-4 days of driving & about $500 in gas/food/hotel each way keeping us from going this year. We planned to go next summer but that might not happen with the new baby so it might get pushed til next Christmas. I really want to go home though, I miss home & my family. I want Katie to have more time with our family. I've thinking about maybe flying home early next year for a visit. Don't think I could handle flying home in the summer with 2 kids. I would rip my hair out for sure. Decisions, decisions! Well, I guess that's all. Have a wonderful day!

Fall

Pregnancy is kicking my darn butt! Most of the time there is major pressure & sometimes I feel hugely/far along pregnant. Morning sickness is daily but some days aren't as bad. I have to be so careful of how much I eat or I get nauseous. My back sometimes kills me but I remember having a lot of back pain the first time too. I seem to get more & more lethargic, that's no fun with a 2 year old. Katie had a blast on Halloween. She bugged me all day long with "trick or treat? trick or treat? daddy home! trick or treat!". I told her when daddy got home we would get dressed & go. She still says trick or treat when she wants her bucket of candy. She didn't even get that much but she had a blast. That's about it. I'll leave some pictures here, some fall & Halloween pictures. Katie was a strawberry. She's getting so big, I can't believe it.

 

 

Happy Fall Ya'll!